The second Sunday of the 2007 NFL season has come to a close and it’s clear that all teams except the Cheatriots still have plenty of kinks to work out. It was a banner Sunday for wide receivers and a day to forget for kickers.
San Francisco 17, St. Louis 16: For the second time in less than seven days, the Niners win a nail biter by not playing well offensively. For the second time in seven days, the Rams lose by not scoring enough points.
Buffalo 3, Pittsburgh 26: Pittsburgh dominated, having control of the ball for 70% of the game. The only good news for the Bills was that Kevin Everett was able to watch the game on TV and has been able to move his legs, hips, and several fingers.
Green Bay 35, NY Giants 13: A week after Brett Favre tied Elway’s record for most career wins, he has to go and break it on the heads of my beloved Giants. Elisha Manning, who needs many more wins before even being in the same league as Favre and Elway, played okay for a guy who was born with a girl’s name. He was taken out of the game in favor of Jared Lorenzen who sprained his ankle on the Giants final drive. That’s what happens when you’re as light and balletic as he is.
Atlanta 7, Jacksonville 13: The Jaguars defense finally showed up. Their offense, as usual, was nowhere to be found. Thankfully for the fans in Jacksonville, neither was the accuracy of Matt Prater, the Falcons field goal kicker who missed two field goals.
Cincinnati 45, Cleveland 51: 96 total points in the Battle of Ohio. I was spent just watching this game. The irony is that Marvin Lewis and Romeo Crennel are such heralded defensive geniuses. If Brown is the new Black, then Derek Anderson is the new Carson Palmer.
Houston 34, Carolina 21: A week after looking like the team that everybody thought was going to go to the Super Bowl last year, the Panthers ran into the AFC South powerhouse…Houston Texans? Matt Schaub was not sacked once which leads me to believe that the Texans offensive line hated David Carr.
Indianapolis 22, Tennessee 20: The Titans give the Colts a big scare. I’m convinced that Vince Young is the Mister Mxyzptlk of the NFL. Like Mxyzptlk’s 5th Dimension, everything is backward when Young is around. When was the last time that Adam Vinatieri struggled kicking the ball? Young averts the Madden Curse for a second week.
New Orleans 14, Tampa Bay 31: It’s beginning to look like the Saints played last year on pure emotion. They need to figure things out fast before “K-Ville” becomes the new beacon of hope in the Crescent City. Jeff Garcia played like it was it Y2K all over again.
Dallas 31, Miami 20: The Dolphins unveiled their innovative back-to-back spike play at the end of the first half. Even in the copycat NFL, this play will likely not be emulated. That plus the five turnovers led to The Dolphins loss. T.O. poked fun at Video Gate in his touchdown celebration. A jab at the league for Dallas quarterbacks coach Wade Wilson?
Seattle 20, Arizona 23: The Seahawks served it up on a silver platter and The Cardinals pull a Niners style win out of their hats. The NFC West is going to be really, really close.
Minnesota 17, Detroit 20: This contest was no lady: ten combined turnovers and two missed field goals in the last 45 seconds in regulation made for an ugly whore of a game. Playoffs Kitna only has eight more games to win to make him eligible for the Psychic Friends Network.
Oakland 20, Denver 23: Mike Shanahan’s timeout trickery put Seabass on ice and sent the Raiders to a loss. I love it.
New York Jets 13, Baltimore 20: The Jets might have won if Kellen Clemens played the entire game like he played the 4th quarter. Ravens running back Willis McGahee caught his first NFL touchdown. He’s been in the league five years.
Kansas City 10, Chicago 20: Chicago’s defense and special teams make up for a non-existent offense - what’s new? Is there a law in Chicago that says the Bears can’t have any offense? Brodie Coyle went 4 for 4 for 55 yards.
San Diego 14, New England 38: Norv, I told you. You have to change your signals. But do you listen to the girl? No. You didn’t and you got your ass kicked. Not terribly surprising.
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